Kutsungirira Kutarisira Kushungurudzika

Mazano Okukunda Kana Mudiwa Wako Ari Kufa

Kurarama nekufungidzira kushungurudzika kwakasiyana pane kukurira kushungurudzika mushure mekunge mumwe munhu afa (kushungurudzika kunowanzoitika). Iwe unogona kuva nemanzwiro akafanana sezvaunozviwana uri munzvimbo iyoyo yakaoma yekuchengetedza tariro, panguva imwe chete uchitanga kurega. Hazvirevi izvi chete zvinorwadza zvakanyanya, asi vanhu kazhinji havawanzogashirwi kushungurudzika kwavo panguva ino.

Dzimwe nguva kushungurudzika kusati kwafa kunogona kusanzwisiswa sekusiya, kune mumwe munhu "asina kumbovapo."

Ngatimbokurukurai zvinorevei kuva nekufungidzira kushungurudzika uye mozogovera mazano anobatsira ekugadzirisa apo uri kuchema kurasikirwa kweumwe munhu achiripo.

Chii Chinotarisirwa Kushungurudzika?

Tsanangudzo yekufungidzira kushungurudzika kusuruvara kwakadzama kunowanzoonekwa mumazuva ekupedzisira ehupenyu. Inowanzotarisana neavo vadikanwa kune mumwe munhu ari pedyo nekufa, uye munhu anenge ari kufa zvechokwadi. Kunyange zvazvo kushungurudzwa kusati kwafa kuchizarura mikana yokutaura kuti kufa kwechimbichimbi hakuiti, kusuruvara zvisati zvaitika hazviiti-kana kupfupisa-nguva yekuchema pashure pekufa.

Ichi chinyorwa chakanyorwa kune avo vane mudikanwi ari pedyo nekufa uye vari kutambura, asi avo vari kufa vanowanzotarisana nenhamo iyi. Itariro yedu kuti mazano ekubata pasi pasi achabatsira vose avo vari kufa uye vadiwa vavo.

Mazano Okukunda Nekutarisira Kushungurudzika

Zvinyorwa zvinotaura nezve "hondo dzeushingi" zvinogona kunge zvakanaka, asi zvinowedzerawo kuti zvive nyore kune avo vanotarisira munhu wavanofa (kana munhu anenge ari kufa) kuti aratidze zvakazara kurwadziwa kwavanoita vasati vafa. Haasi munhu wose anonzwa kushungurudzika, asi zvinowanzoitika.

Chimwe chidzidzo chakawana kuti 40 muzana yechirikadzi dzakawana kushungurudzwa asati afa kunyanya kunetseka kupfuura kuchema mushure mekufa.

Kana iwe uri kutambudzika apo mudiwa wako achiri mupenyu hazvirevi kuti iwe uri kusiya mumwe wako waunoda kana kupera. Pane kudaro, kushanda kuburikidza neshungu yako kungakupa mukana wekuwana chinangwa nekuvhara iwe waungadai usina.

Tarisa mazano anotevera ekugadzirisa kushungurudzika kwevamwe vakawana vaibatsira pavanenge vachifamba nematambudziko aya.

Zvibvumire Kuti Unzwe Uye Uchinetseka

Kubvumira kunzwa kurwadziwa mumoyo mako kunokubatsira kuva akatendeseka uye kutendeka iwe pachako. Kufungidzira kushungurudzika hakusi kungochema rufu runosvika rwemudiwa, asi mamwe ose kurasikirwa anotevera rufu. Kurasikirwa neshamwari. Kurasikirwa kwezviyeuchidzo zvakafanana. Kurasikirwa kwezviroto zvemangwana. Iyi inguvawo nguva apo kushungurudzwa kubva kare kunogona kumutsa kuti "zvakare kuchema." Kuramba marwadzo aunoona kunogona kuwedzerwa shungu gare gare pawendo rwako.

Kusuruvara kunoshanda chinangwa kana ichiitika musati wafa kana mushure mekufa. Vatsvakurudzi vakatibatsira kuburikidza nekuziva zvikamu zvina uye mabasa ekuchema . Mabasa aya anotanga nekubvuma kurasikirwa kwakaswedera, kushanda kuburikidza nemarwadzo, uye pakupedzisira uchirega kuenda nenzira inokubvumira kuti udzokere kushamwaridzana kwako kune waunoda pane imwe nzvimbo.

Izvi hazvirevi kupera paanoda wako kana kuvakanganwa. Asi, kupedzisa mabasa ekuchema kunokubvumira kuti urembere kune mufaro uye rudo iwe wakambogovana, asi pasina kushungurudzika kunokonzera kurangarira kunorwadza.

Vanhu vazhinji vanoona zvakaoma kuratidza kushungurudzika kwavo vasati vafa nokuti vanoiona sevasingabatsiri mudiwa wavo anofa. Kuwana shamwari yaunovimba kunogona kuva danho rakanakisisa rokutarisana nemarwadzo aya.

Usaenda Iga Woga: Ratidza Marwadzo Ako

Zvakakosha kuti usangozvirega uchinzwe marwadzo ako asi kugoverana manzwiro ako neshamwari yepedyo kana nhengo yemhuri pamwe chete.

Hapana munhu anofanira kutarisana nekutarisira kushungurudzika oga. Kuchengetedza manzwiro ako kune iwe pachako kunogona kuita kuti unzwe uine kusurukirwa kwakadzika uye iwe woga.

Kana zvichikwanisika, tsvaga shamwari inononoka kutonga uye ndiani achange akasununguka paunenge uchitaura kutsamwa. Zvidzidzo zvinoratidza kuti kufungidzira kushungurudzika kwakafanana nekusuwa mushure mekunge mumwe munhu afa, asi pane kazhinji kuwedzera kutsamwa nekurasikirwa kwekutonga pamusoro pemanzwiro.

Edza kuwana shamwari inokwanisa kuteerera, uye hairi kuedza "kugadzirisa zvinhu." Shamwari inogona kuteerera haizokuudziri zvaunofanira kuita kana kuti iwe unofanirwa kunzwa sei zvakanaka. Kana tisina munhu watinosangana nerufu, hatina nzira yekuziva kuti mumwe anonzwa sei. Kunze kwekuti isu tanga tiripo isu pachedu, uye hapana vanhu vaviri vane mafambi akafanana, inogona kunge yakanyanyisa kukurudzirwa pane zvaunofanira kuita kana kuti iwe unofanirwa kunzwa sei. Vamwe vanhu vanoita mazano aya mukutsamwa, asi vamwe vakangovhara. Chero nzira, haibatsiri iwe zviri nani kubata.

Kana shamwari yako ichiedza kugovera mazano, rega azive kuti iwe unongoda kuti iye ateerere uye kwete kuedza kugadzirisa zvinhu. Manzwiro aunonzwa haafaniri kugadziriswa nyore. Asi kuwana mumwe munhu kuti ateerere kunokupa nzira yekufamba mumugwagwa uchinzwa zvishoma uri woga.

Kana iwe usingakwanisi kuwana shamwari inotsigira, kana kunyange kana uchikwanisa, mapoka ekutsigira kuIndaneti, akadai seaya anopiwa neCarcerCare aripo anopa rubatsiro rwevatarisiri vevanhu vanorarama nehosha dzisingaperi.

Shandisa Nguva pamwe chete

Tinowanzonzwa vanhu vachitaura pamusoro pekuti zvakaoma sei kupedza nguva nemudiwa wavo anofa. Havadi kuyeuka mudiwa wavo nenzira yavari iko ikozvino asi pane kuda kukurangarira kuti vaive sei vasati vafa. Izvozvo zvakati, kupedza nguva hazvirevi kwete chete kune munhu anofa asiwo kune vadikani vepedyo zvakare. Kudzivisa kutarisana nemunhu waunoda kufa dzimwe nguva kunotungamirira kuzvidemba shure.

Funga nezvenzira dzinobatsira dzokupedza nguva pamwe chete. Chimwe chinhu icho vamwe vakawana chinangwa ndechokubudisa kunze mabhokisi uye albamu yezvifananidzo zvekare. Kuseka uye misodzi yekuyeuchidza kunogona kuchenesa zvikuru. Kune mukadzi, iwe ungamukumbira kuti abvise zvishongo zvake uye ataure nezve nyaya dziri shure kwechidimbu chimwe nechimwe. Kana uine vana vaduku, kana kunyange kana iwe usingaiti, ungada kufadza mavhidhiyo sewawakada iwe kugovera nyaya pamusoro pezvaive kuda kukura pamberi pe email.

Chimwe chiitiko vamwe vanhu vakawana chakanaka ndechokuti vawane purasita risina mari shoma uye soak uye mushambadza maoko avo vanodiwa maoko nemakumbo. Iwe unogonawo kufarira kuwana zvimwe zvekare zvaanoda manyozha kuti uverenge kwaari. Kana iwe waida munhu aidiwa hove, kumubvunze kuti agovere shamwari yake yaanoda "nhove huru" nyaya. Nhamba yacho inogona kuramba ichienderera mberi.

Munhu wese akasiyana paanouya kune izvo zvingave zvine chinangwa uye haisi mabasa aunosarudza anokosha. Zviri kupedza nguva, kunyange kana nguva iyoyo iri mukunyarara.

Kana iwe uine shungu pamusoro pokushanyira mudiwa wako, tora nguva yekudzidza pamusoro pekutaura kune waunoda afa. Pakupedzisira, vanhu vazhinji vanovhunduka kuti vachaputsa uye vanoita kuti shungu dzavanoda dzive dzakaoma. Ramba uri mupfungwa kuti nguva yakawanda yako mudiwa wako angasarudza kuti iwe unoshanyira, kunyange kana iwe zvachose uchirasikirwa nayo. Misodzi yakanaka. Kana uchiri kunzwa uchinetseka, kunyanya kana mudiwa wako achida kutaura nezvekufa kwake, Tora nguva yekufunga pamusoro pekutarisana nekutya kwako kutarisana nemunhu waunoda kufa.

Yeuka Vana

Vana vanoonawo kushungurudzika, uye kunyange zvazvo zvakakosha kuti vana vashande kuburikidza neshungu, vanowanzopiwa mukana muduku wekutaura ivo, kunyange mune zvakawanda zvirongwa zvekuchengetedza . Zvidzidzo zvakaratidza kuti vana vasina kupiwa mukana wekutambudzika vanowanzogona kurwisana nekuzvidya mwoyo uye kuora mwoyo mushure mehupenyu. Zvimwe zvemashoko ari pasi apa, zvakadai sokurapa unyanzvi, zvinogona kunyanya kubatsira vana.

Vana vanoda kuverengerwa uye vanoda nzvimbo yakachengeteka kuti vazviratidze ivo pachavo. Kana ari mubereki ari kufa, kusarudza mumwe munhu kunze kwomubereki kunogona kubatsira sezvo vana vangaedza kuve nesimba kumubereki wavo kana kuti sekuru vanoparara. Mune rumwe ruzivo rwakataurwa kuti vabereki vane kenza yakakura vakanga vasingazivi kuti vana vavo vakaora mwoyo zvakadini. Pane imwe nyanzvi yakanaka, zvisinei, chidzidzo ichocho chakawana kuti vana vane mubereki ane kenza yakakurumbira inhengo dzemhuri uye zvinhu zvinokosha muhupenyu zvinopfuura vana ivavo vakanga vasina mubereki ane kenza.

Kuzarura kukurukurirana kwakapoteredza rufu kwakaratidzwa kubatsira kubatsira kuderedza kushungurudzika, kuora mwoyo, uye matambudziko ehutano kuvana vane mubereki anorwara zvikuru. Vana vanoda rubatsiro rwekuti vachachengetwa shure kwekufa uye kuti havazosiyi. Dzidza zvakawanda pamusoro pezvinodiwa zvevana vanochema pamwe chete nekutaura nevana nezvekufa.

Kunewo mabhuku mazhinji akanaka akagadzirirwa kubatsira vana kutsungirira rufu nekufa.

Funga Kufamba

Vanhu vazhinji vanoona kuti kuchengeta gwaro kunoporesa. Kuchengeta bhuku kunogona kuva cathartic kune rumwe rutivi, sezvaunotsanangura kunyange zvinhu zvausingazonzwi wakasununguka kugovana neshamwari. Kune rumwe rutivi, inogona kuva nzvimbo yekunyora pfungwa dzakapoteredza munguva yefa yako yaunoda-pfungwa dzaunogona kunge waizokuda iwe wakanyora. Vamwe vanhu vanoda pepanhau rega. Vamwe vanogona kusarudza kugovera zvavanofunga pane imwe nzvimbo yakadai seCaring Bridge, kwavanokwanisa kugovana kwete pfungwa dzavo nemanzwiro asi zvinyorwa uye kukumbira rubatsiro kubva kune vadiwa.

Panzvimbo ye, kana kuwedzera kune, kuparidzira, vamwe vanhu vanoona kuti tsamba dzokunyora dzinobatsira nekutambudzika kwekufa kwekuuya. Somuenzaniso, iwe unogona kunyora tsamba kune waunoda iwe wafa achitaura zvose zvaunoda kuti uve nechokwadi chokuti iwe ungati. Kana iwe uri kufa, kunyora tsamba kune vana vako-zvichida tsamba dzavanogona kuzarura pane imwe nguva-inopa nzvimbo yekuratidza iyo manzwiro etsitsi uye panguva imwe chete kupa avo vanoramba vari shure chipo chikuru.

Tora Kubatsira kweHofistic Methods of Coping

Kugamuchira nzira yakakwana kunogona kubatsira kumurwere kufa uye kune vaanoda. Zvakawanda zvezvirapa izvi zvakawanikwa kuti zvibatsire nemanzwiro akadai sokufunganya, uye zvishoma zvidzidzo zvishoma zvakaona kuti kushandisa nzira yakakwana yekuchengeta avo vari kuchema kwakabatsira kuunza tariro nekuporesa kune zvakaitika zvinorwadza. Mimwe yemitambo iyi inosanganisira:

Kurudzira Ukama Hwako Pakunamata

Kunamata kunokosha kune vose vari kufa nekuvatarisira vavo. Zvomudzimu zvinogona kutora maitiro echitendero zvakarongeka nemunyengetero, kufungisisa, kutaura nezvisikwa, kana kutoteerera mimhanzi inorehwa kwauri. Dzidzo dzakaratidza kuti vanhu vari kufa vanowana humwe huri nani hwehupenyu mumazuva ekupedzisira kana vane hupenyu hunoshingaira hwemweya, uye humwe hupenyu hwemweya hunobatsira kune zvinopfuura munhu anofa. Kuongororwa kwechangobva kuwanikwa kwakawana kuti vatarisiri vevanhu vane chirwere chikuru vakange vasingakwanisi kuora mwoyo kana mudiwa wavo wafa aine hupenyu hune hupenyu hwomweya.

Ramba Uchinzwa Huri

Hakusi nzvimbo yakawanda yekusekesa kana mumwe munhu achifa, uye pane zvakajeka nguva yekuchema. Asi dzimwe nguva kuseka, munzvimbo yakarurama, kunogona kuporesa. Ndinoyeuka ndichinzwa kusunungurwa kwakakura pahanzvadzi yangu-tezvara yekunyomba apo baba vangu-nhanho-baba vakafa. Amai vangu vakanga vakanganwa masokisi ake paakaunza zvese zvekuviga kwake kumusasa ndokuputsa misodzi. Mukoma wangu nomutsa vakapa masokisi acho kubva patsoka dzake-yakanaka REI socks. Baba vangu vokutamba, murume anodikamwa akacheka kunyange T-shirts dzake angangodaro asina kusarudza masokisi iwayo, uye pfungwa iyi yakanga ichichenesa sezvo yakashandura misodzi yamai vangu yekuchema mumisodzi yekuseka. Mukoma wangu-mukoma wangu, atova mapoka-mapfupa edu ndokutanga kuimba "masokisi angu ari kuenda kudenga." Ndichigadzika paresitorendi ndiri munzira kuenda kumba Ndine chokwadi kuti mufundisi akanyatsofunga kuti taingoti tashandise maawa akawanda pape uye kwete imba yemariro.

Mimwe mishonga yekenza ikozvino inopa rubatsiro rwekweka kuvanhu vane kenza yakanyanya. Hungu, pane dzakawanda apo kuseka hakungagoni kuzviita. Asi pane imwe nguva, kunyange kana iwe uchifanira "kuinyengera kusvikira iwe uchiita" - kuseka kunogona kurerutsa manzwiro akaoma.

Dzidzira Kukanganwira

Kukanganwira kuporesa, uye kudzidzira kuregerera iwe pachako kunokosha sekukanganwira vamwe. Nguva isati yafa yakazadzwa nemanzwiro uye kutsamwa nekutsamwa pakati pemhuri dzinogona kutonga zvakasimba. Asi iyi inguvawo nguva yekugadzirisa kusawirirana. Chinhu chakanaka chekutanga pakuregererwa chiri kuteerera. Saka kazhinji vanhu vari pakupedzisira vachitaura chinhu chimwe chete - nenzira dzakasiyana. Asi dzimwe nguva pane zvakajeka kusiyana. Mubvunzo waunogona kuzvibvunza kana iwe unotsamwiswa neimwe nhengo yemumhuri, "zvinokosha here kuda kana kuve wakarurama?" Mumwe munhu akambotaura kuti kutsamwa ndehupfu hunogadzirira mumwe uye kunwa iwe pachako. Kurega kutsamwa nekurwadziwa kubva pane zvakaitika kare kusununguka. Zvipe iwe chipo chekukangamwira.

Ipai Mudiwa Wenyu Mvumo Kufa

Hazvisi zvisizvo kuti mumwe munhu asungirire kusvikira imwe nguva chaiyo - somuenzaniso, kumirira kusvikira vasvika zuva rakadai sokupedza mwana, zuva rokuzvarwa, kana kushanyira kubva kune waanoda. Kune vamwe vanhu, zvinoratidzika sokuti ivo vanozozvibvumira kutora kufema kwavo shure mushure momudiwa wavo anotaura zvakanaka mune imwe nzira, uye mukuita kudaro, mvumo yekupa mvumo. Mvumo yekufa inogona kufamba nenzira mbiri. Usiku huya mbuya vakafa akati kwandiri, "tichasangana." Mashoko ake akandipa mvumo yekumurega aende, uyewo, mhinduro yangu inoratidza kuti ndaizova wakakodzera kumupa mvumo yekupfuurira kuenda kunzvimbo inotevera. Chipo chokutora chinogona kuva chipo chakaisvonaka.

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