Mazano Anogona Kukuvadza Kune Mumwe Munhu Ane Chirwere Chanonzi
"Mutsa wemazwi, kutaridzirana mutsa, tsitsi uye kushamwaridzana, izvi zvinoreva nyasha apo varume vari mumatambudziko vari kurwa hondo dzavo dzisati dzaonekwa." - John Hall
Kwemakore, tave nevanhu vakawanda kwazvo vane kenza yemapapu kugovana kwavo kuburikidza nekutadza kutaura kwakagadzirwa neshamwari nevanodiwa. Hazvirevi chete kuti mamwe mazwi aya akangokuvadza, asi vakanzwa vachishungurudza, vachiuya nenguva iyo vanhu vanoda rudo rukuru uye rutsigiro sezvazvinogona.
Kazhinji yenguva, mazwi aya anogadzirwa nechinangwa chakanaka; vanhu havasi kuedza kukuvadza uye kunokonzera kurwadziwa. Pane zvinopesana, zvizhinji zvemashoko aya ndezvekuedza kubatanidza nekugovera kunzwisisa.
Zvinoratidzika zvinokuvadza kune mumwe munhu ane kenza zvinogona kunge zvisinganzwisisi kwauri. Vanhu vazhinji vanorarama nekenza vakaudza kuti haisi mazwi chaiwo ataurwa ayo akakuvadza zvakanyanya, asi pane zvaakaverenga mumashoko. Somuenzaniso, kana kenza yako iri mukuregererwa kana NED (pasina uchapupu hwechirwere), kunze kwekunaka nekunetseka unogona kunzwa vanhu vachiti, " Iwe unonyatsoziva sei kuti kenza yako yaenda? " Pane kunzwa kuti rudo nekuzvidya mwoyo zvakagadziriswa, mhinduro yakaita seyi inogona kuita kuti uzvidye mwoyo nezvekudzoka uye kunyange pfungwa yekusurukirwa sezvaunoona kuti iwe uri woga muviri wako mukufamba kwako nekenza.
Sezvaunoverenga kuburikidza nezvenhamba iyi, usazvitsoropodza kana iwe usina kutora wakaita mamwe mazwi aya kune shamwari dzine kenza.
Tose takanamatira tsoka dzedu mumiromo yedu dzimwe nguva, uye shamwari yako ine kenza yakawanda yakaita (uye ichiri kuita) mazwi anogona kunetsa kune vamwe vane kenza. Vanhu vane kenza vanokanganwira, asi kungwarira mazwi atinoshandisa kunogona kubatsira mumwe munhu ane kenza kunzwa zvichida tad shoma ari oga parwendo rwavo.
Zvinoshungurudza kunzwa pamusoro pe "zvinhu zvisina kururama zvokutaura" pasinawo kugadziriswa. Saka pamwe nemashoko ari pasi apa, ticharatidza zvimwe zvinhu zvinogona kuitwa. Ramba uchiyeuka kuti kazhinji haisi kungotaura chete isu izvo vanhu "vanonzwa," asi mutauro wemuviri wedu; Mutauro wemuviri inofungidzirwa kutarisa makumi mashanu kusvika ku70 muzana yekutaurirana. Kana iwe uchida kutumira shoko rakajeka kune shamwari yako kuti iwe uchange uripo uye uchida kubatsira, iva nechokwadi chokuti muviri wako unotumira mashoko iwayo zvakare.
1. Usati: " Wakasviba kwenguva yakareba sei? "
Zvinoratidzika zvakakwana pasi rose kune avo vanorarama nekenza yemapapu, rimwe remashoko okutanga anonzi munhu pavanonzwa nezvekutsvaga kwavo nderokuti "Wakasvuta kwenguva yakareba sei." Kune vamwe vanhu vane mutsa wemapapu, mazwi aya haakuvadzi, kana kuti anovhiringidza marwadzo avo nemashoko akadai somupfu wechipfupa chemapapu akaitwa: " Ndinokutendai nokundiudza kuti ndinofanirwa kuva nekenza yemapapu ." Asi kune vanhu vazhinji, mibvunzo iyi inorwadza zvikuru, sezvavanofunga kuti vari kutongwa nekuda kwechirwere chavo. Mukuwedzera pakukuvadza mupfungwa, kusarura kwemukenza wemapapu kwakanyatsoita kuti vamwe vanhu vane kenza yemapapu vawane kutarisirwa kwakakwana, sezvo vachifunga kuti havakodzeri kurapwa kwakakodzera. Vanhu havawanzobvunza nezvekusvuta kunokuvadza.
Pane kudaro, kazhinji inzira yekuzvikurudzira pachavo kuti "yakachengeteka. " Somuenzaniso, kana mumwe munhu ane kenza yemapapu aputa, kana kusvuta kwenguva yakareba, zvinoita kuti mumwe munhu awane mikana yekuvandudza chirwere chiri pasi.
Kune mararamiro akawanda emararamiro atinoita isu anogona kukwidza mungozi yedu yekuve nekenza , asi nokuda kwechimwe chikonzero, kenza yemapapu inowanzobudiswa. Mashoko okutanga anobva mumuromo medu pakudzidza shamwari ane kenza yemazamu haisi " yenguva yakadii iwe wakamwisa mwana wako mumwe nomumwe kwenguva yakareba? " Hatibvunzi vanhu vane kenza yekoloni nguva yakareba yei vakagara. Pamusoro pemashoko ose akanyorwa munyaya ino, kana pane imwe yekudzivisa, dzivisa kubvunza nezvekusvuta.
Ramba uchifunga kuti 20 kubva muzana yevakadzi vanova nekenza yemapapu havana kumbata fodya. Asi kunyange kana mumwe munhu ane ketani-aputa hupenyu hwake hwose, achiri kukodzera rudo rwedu uye kutarisirwa, rubatsiro rwedu, uye kurapa kwakanakisisa kurapwa kunogona. Semashoko ekupedzisira, takanzwa vanhu vachikaka kuti mubvunzo uyu unokosha; kuti kubvunza vanhu vane mupenza wemapapu pamusoro pekuputa kwavo kunobatsira kudzidzisa vamwe nezve ngozi dzekusvuta. Tichapindura pano kuti pane zvakawanda zvekushandisa nezvekudzidza nezvekukuvadza kwekusvuta, pasina kuita saizvozvo pamusana pokukuvadza shamwari yako.
Pane kudaro uchiti: " Ndine urombo zvikuru iwe unotarisana nechirwere ichi. "
2. Usati: " Ndidane kana iwe uchida chinhu "
Izvi zvinogona kutaridzika sekanganiso yekunyora. Mushure mezvose, sei iwe usingagoni kubvunza shamwari yako nekenza kuti ataure kana achida chimwe chinhu? Chikonzero ichi hachisi kukanganisa kunyorera ndiyo nguva yakawanda yenguva, iyo inoshevedza haiti kuzoitika. Apo patinokumbira mumwe munhu kuti ashevedze, tinoisa mutoro wokudana munhu uyo, uye kurarama nekenza kazhinji kunotakura zvakakwana.
Mukunyora izvi, hatiri kuti haufaniri kupa rubatsiro. Ndapota ita! Asi kana uchikwanisa, bvunza zvaunogona kuita mune imwe nzira, iyo inoderedza shamwari yako yemutoro wekuda kufunga. Pandakanga ndichifamba nekemotherapy nokuda kwekenza yebonde, vanhu vaiwanzobvunza kuti vangandibatsira sei, asi zvakanga zvakaoma kufunga pamusoro pekubatsira kwandaida. Kunyange zvisarudzo zvakadai sekuti "ungada here kuti ndiunze lasagna kana pizza" dzimwe nguva dzakaoma, sezvo ndakatambudzika nezvose zvandakasarudza kuita maererano nekurapa. Chii chaibatsira zvakanyanya chaiva zvipo zvakananga zvekubatsira. Imwe shamwari yaidiwa yakabvunza kana yaigona kuuya pamusoro peMugovera nemaruva emichero (chimwe chinhu chaingoita kuti ubongo huve nesimba yehu hongu kana kwete mhinduro.) Akabva aratidza, pamwe chete nevamwe shamwari dzakawanda uye mutoro wemaruva, ndokuenderera mberi Zadza zvose zvangu maruva emabhedha.
Dzimwe nguva kungoita chimwe chinhu pasina kubvunza kunogona kuva chipo chikuru. Ndakanga ndine shamwari dzisina kubvunza zvandaida asi dzaizoratidza nezvirati zvezvokudya zvechando uye zvigadzirwa kubva muzvitoro (uye zvaizovatora zvakananga kune firiji nefriji uye kuidhura.). Shamwari imwe yakauya pamusoro pemurwi wemabhuku achiti iive mabhuku akakurumbira akanga aiverenga gore iroro (uye yakaratidza pachena kuti ndakanga ndisingadi kuti ndiverenge kana).
Pane kudaro, taura kuti: " Ndingauya here Chitatu chinotevera ndogeza mahwindo? " Kana kuti " Ndingakutevedza iwe kunotevera kurapwa kwako here? " Kana kuti " Ndingakonzera kudya kweChipiri chinotevera here? " Kana kungoratidzira kudya.
3. Usati: " Mukomana wangu womuvakidzani wangu wechipiri akanga ane chirwere chemaronda uye iye _______ "
Izvi zvinoitika nguva dzose. Paanonzwa nezvekutsvaga kweshamwari, tinopa nyaya pamusoro pevamwe vatinoziva nemamiriro akafanana. Asi panzvimbo yemashoko aya anogadzira zvavanenge vachida kuita - kugadzira kubudiswa - vanowanzoita zvakasiyana; siya shamwari yedu ichinzwa yakanyanya.
Kugoverana nhau pamusoro pevanhu vakafa, kana kutyisa nyaya pamusoro pemishonga, zvinhu zvekupedzisira kune munhu anorarama nekenza yemapapu anoda kunzwa. Asi kuenzanisa kupi zvako kunogona kukanganisa mararamiro avo uye kunopera kuva kukuvadza. Somuenzaniso, pandakaongororwa, shamwari yangu yakandiudza kuti mwanasikana wavo aine "chinhu chimwe chete chaunacho," uye haana kumboshaikwa zuva rebasa. Ndine chokwadi chokuti chinangwa chake chakanga chiri kuderedza kutya kwangu pamusoro pekurapa, asi pane izvi, zvakandisiya ndichinzwa sokuti ndaizozotongwa kana ndaifanira kutora nguva - sokunge ini "ndakakundikana." Ukuwo, imwe shamwari yakaratidza kuti zvakanakisa sei kuti hanzvadzi yake yakanga isingakwanisi kurega basa rayo mushure mokunge aonekwa, asi kuti murume wake akatanga kuita zvose kubika uye kuchenesa. Kwete.
Pane dzimwe nguva, kugovera nyaya kunogona kubatsira. Ndine shamwari ine kenza isingazivikanwi ine hurombo husina kunaka. Akawana nyaradzo pakunzwa nezveimwe shamwari yangu yakanga iri kurarama uye ichibudirira makore gumi nemashanu mushure mekufanirwa kufanana. Asi fungisisa usati waudza chero nyaya. Chinangwa chinofanira kuva pane shamwari yako, kwete kune vamwe vanhu muhupenyu hwako avo vakatarisana nekenza.
Pane kudaro uchiti: " Uri kubata sei? " Uye teerera.
4. Usati: " Ndinoziva Maonero Aunoita "
" Chaizvoizvo unoziva kuti chii chakaita kuva nemuviri wangu, nemhando yangu chaiyo yekenza, nezviratidzo zvangu, kugara nevana vangu, mumba mangu, nekunetseka kwangu kwezvemari? " Ndinoziva kuti vanhu vazhinji vanoti "Ndinoziva manzwiro aunoita "vari kuedza zvakaoma kuti vatsigire uye kuita kuti shamwari yavo ichinzwe isiri yoga, asi muchokwadi, izvi zvinogona kusiya shamwari yako kunzwa yakanyanya kusurukirwa uye yakasara.
Kunze kwekuti uri kurarama nemukenza wemapapu - uye kunyange iwe uri - haugoni kunzwisisa kuti chii chakafanana kuva shamwari yako. Rwendo rwevanhu vose rwakasiyana. Zvinogona kuedza kwazvo kutaura chinhu chakadai kana iwe uine kenza iwe pachako. Mune dzimwe nzira, kuva nechirwere kunowanikwa kune chikwata chakavanzika chevakapukunyuka, asi kufananidza pakati pevanorwara nekenza zvinogona kuva zvinorwadza. Somuenzaniso, mumwe munhu anogara nechitsauko 4 yemukenza wemapapu haadi kunzwa mumwe munhu ane chirwere chekenza yepamuviri achiti "Ndinonzwisisa kuti unonzwa sei." Nokuti havagone.
Pane kudaro, iti: " Uri kunzwa sei? " Uye iva akagadzirira kuteerera.
5. Usati: " Unoda Kuva Nemaonero Akanaka "
Kuchengeta mafungiro akanaka nekenza haisi chinhu chakaipa; kutsvakurudza kunyange kuratidza kuti kuva nemafungiro akanaka kunogona kubatsira maitiro ezvirwere zvezvirwere uye kuderedza mahomoni ekumanikidza mumitumbi yedu. Asi sezvo pane nguva yekuva nemafungiro akanaka, pane dzimwe nguva apo iwe unoda kuva nekuchema zvakanaka.
Kuudza vanhu vari kurwisana nekenza iyo inofanirwa kugara vakanaka vanovhiringidza manzwiro avo. Izvi, pamwe chete, zvinogona kuita kuti vavhare uye vabate manzwiro avo mukati. Kuudza mumwe munhu ane kenza kuti " vakasimba kwazvo " kunogona kuita zvakafanana. Kana iwe uchida kutsigira shamwari yako nekenza, rega ave panzvimbo yaanogona kuva asina simba uye ataure zvaanotya.
Panzvimbo pekuti: " Ndine chokwadi chokuti unonzwa uchidzikama pane dzimwe nguva." Kana iwe uchida fudzi kuti ucheme, ndichava pano. "
6. Usati: " Unofanirwa ____________ " (Sarudza Zvaunosarudza)
- Idya macrobiotic kudya
- Wana maonero echipiri pamusoro pemukenza wemapapu.
- Endai zvose organic.
- Tanga juicing.
- Edzai mishonga yemazuva ano yakagadzirwa.
- Enda kuMexico uwane laetrile .
- Ona amai vangu oncologist.
Dzimwe mazano vanhu vanoita zvinogona kuva zvakanaka. Vamwe havasi kwematongerwo enyika, uye vamwe vanogona kunge vari nengozi. Ndine shamwari imwe "kundiraira" kuti ini ndinofanira kupembera kuvhiyiwa uye chemotherapy uye pane kunwa koroti juice nguva dzose maawa maviri. Zvechokwadi, ndakasarudza kusazvidza rumbidzo yake, asi chinonyanya kukosha ndechokuti kupa mazano ingangodaro kwete iyo shamwari yako ine kenza inoda iwe kumutsigira .
Kana iwe uri kuda kutaura chimwe chinhu chinotanga ne " iwe unofanirwa ... " funga zvakare. Shamwari yako ingangodaro yakaita tsvakurudzo dzakawanda uye yakatove yakashungurudzika nezvisarudzo zviripo. Saizvozvowo, kugovera "mazano ezvakaitwa," kana kutaura pamusoro pemakemikirini sechinangwa chechiremba kuti vawane mari pamutengo wevanorwara nekenza, hazviiti zvakawanda kutsigira mumwe achangobva kuwanikwa ane kenza.
Pane kudaro: " Zvinonzwika sokuti iwe wakasarudza boka rezvechiremba akanaka. Kana uchida, ndichafara kukubatsira iwe kutsvakurudza zvaunogona kuita. "
7. Usati: " Zvinhu zvose zvinoda kuva vakarurama "
Zvechokwadi? Unogona sei kuva nechokwadi zvakadaro?
Kuudza shamwari yako kuti une chokwadi kuti achaita zvakanaka zvinenge zvisingarevi nhema chete asi kuderedza kushamwaridzana kweshamwari yako nezvekurapa uye remangwana.
Pane kudaro, taura: " Ndiri kuzovepo iwe. " Uye gadzirira kuteerera zvaanotya.
8. Usati: " Mwari Anogona Kushandisa Izvi "
Kana kuti kusiyana, " Zvose zvinoitika nokuda kwechikonzero ." Apo mumwe munhu akatanga kutaura izvi kwandiri, kupindura kwangu kwemashoko (kuti ndakachengeta kune ini) ndanga, " Zvakarurama." Angadai akashandisa ini pamwe chete pasina kenza. "
Ndinoitika kuva nekutenda kwakasimba, asi handitendi Mwari anoronga kune vamwe vedu kuva nekenza kuitira kuti tikwanise kubatsira vamwe. Saizvozvowo, handitendi kuti Mwari anopa vanhu kenza nokuti kune chivi muupenyu hwavo, kana kuti kana iwe "une kutenda kwakakwana," Achakuporesa. Vakawanda vedu tinoziva nezveumwe munhu aiva nekutenda kwakasimba uye zvitendero, asi akazopindwa nekenza chero zvakadaro. Saizvozvowo, zvishamiso dzimwe nguva zvinoitika kune avo vasina kutenda zvachose.
Pane kudaro, taura: " Ndingakunyengeterera iwe here?" Uye kana shamwari yako ichiti hongu, iva nechokwadi chokuti unoita.
9. Usati "Hausati Wakuda Iwe Wakave Nekenza Yepabonde Nezvose Zvinonzi Pink Stuff Panzvimbo Yekenza Canung? "
Hongu, iyi ichokwadi yechokwadi yakambotaurwa kune mumwe munhu ane kenza yemapapu. Pane kukanganisa kwehuwandu hwekutsigirwa (uye mari) yemukenza wemapapu maererano nekenza yemazamu, asi hazvisi izvo zvakakwana (uye zvinorwadza zvakakwana) pasina kutaura pamusoro payo?
Mumwe "usati" wakauya semashoko mu blog ndakanyora kuti: "Vakapona Mukana weKana Vanoda Kumira uye Kuita Kusiyana Sevanhu Vanopukunyuka Bonde." Hongu, vakapukunyuka kenza yemazamu vakaita basa rakanaka rokusimudzira. Asi kuti ufambe kana kumhanyira mukuziva kwekenza yemapapu unoda kuva nemapapu, uye iwe unoda kurarama. Zvose zvinokwana makore mashanu ekupukunyuka kwekenza yepazamu inenge 90 muzana. Kwemukenza wemapapu zvinongova zvishomanana kupfuura 17 muzana.
Pane kudaro, taura kuti: " Ndagadzirira uye ndinoda kubatanidzwa kuti ndibatsire chinokonzera sekenza yemapapu kumutsigira."
10. Usati: Hapana
Kunyarara kunogona kuva chinhu chakaoma kune mumwe munhu ane kenza. Imwe yezvinotyisa zvikuru zvevanhu vane kenza ndeyega - inotarirwa kurapwa chete, inotarisana nemarwadzo ega, kufa kwega, kana kutarisana nekuchengetedzwa chete. Ndinonzwisisa kuti ndakagovana zvinhu zvisingatauri kune mumwe munhu ane chirwere chemapapu, asi kana zvasvika pazviri, zviri nani kutaura chimwe chinhu kunze kwekutaura chinhu zvachose. Vanhu vane kenza vanowanzoregerera pane dzimwe nguva zvishoma-pane-kungwarira kutaura. Izvo zvinyorwa zvinonyanya kurwadza kunzwa kunzwa wakasiyiwa.
Pane kudaro, taura kuti: " Handizivi zvokutaura. "
Thoughts Final uye General Tips
Sezvo kunyarara kungangove chinhu chakanyanya kuipa iwe unogona "kutaura" kune mumwe munhu ane kenza yemapapu, ini handidi kuti vanhu vasiya nyaya ino vachiratidza kuti ivo vanotaura zvakashata chinhu chakaipa. Vanhu vanorarama nekenza vanoziva kuti shamwari dzavo dzinogona kuwana zvakaoma kuziva zvingataura. Panzvimbo pekuyeuka zvinyorwa zvisingatauri, zvishoma zvese zvinogona kubatsira.
- Taura zvishoma uye teerera zvakawanda.
- Bvunza mibvunzo yakasununguka, uye rega shamwari yako itaure hurukuro.
- Panzvimbo yekufunga kuti unoda kugadzirisa zvinhu kana kuita chimwe chinhu , izvo shamwari yako inoda zvakanyanya ndeyekuti iwe ugarepo .
- Dzivisa kupa mazano.
- Dzivisa kutsoropodza.
- Dzivisa kunyanyisa-zvose kunyorera uye kuparadza simba rekenza kunogona kukuvadza kune munhu ane kenza.
Uye yeuka: zvinhu zvakaipa zvinoitika kune vakanaka. Asi dzimwe nguva, zvinhu zvakaipa izvi zvinonyanya kushivirira kana uine shamwari dzinoedza kuedza kurega kutaura zvinhu zvinogona kukuvadza, uye shandura mashoko acho nemashoko anotsigira pane.
> Sources:
> National Cancer Institute. Manzwiro uye Kanzer. Updated 11/06/17. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/feelings