Ndeipi nguva yekupedzisira iwe wakazviwana uri mumamiriro ezvinhu apo iwe wakadzivirira zvakasimba nzvimbo, wakakunda, uye wakanzwa urombo? Inogona kunge iri neshamwari, shamwari, nhengo yemhuri kana munhu wamuri kupa. Hongu, iwe "wakakunda" uye wakatenda kuti kurwisana kwakaruramiswa maererano nedzimwe mitemo yemitemo, mitemo, kana pfungwa dze "kururamisira." Asi zvakadaro kune manzwiro iwayo, kana izvo zvandaiita zvakanga zvakarurama, nei ndinonzwa kusuruvara?
Kuziva kweTibetan kwechikonzero ichi kunoratidzwa mundima yekare, "Iwe unogona kukanda mazimbe anopisa muvengi wako, asi iwe uchapisa maoko ako kuchiita." Chirevo ichi chinotaura chimwe chezvinetso zvakakura nekutarisana: mari yekukunda . Funga nezvekupedzisira kwekupesana kwako kukuru uko iwe "wakakunda." Unoyeuka chete kutapira kwekukunda, kana iwe wakasara nemigumisiro yakaipa yekupwanya muvengi wako?
Kune vanhu vakawanda vakaona kurwisana kukuru uko kwavakakunda, kune manzwiro anorwadza apo kazhinji mari yekukunda yakanga yakakwirira kwazvo kune ivo kana munhu wavakakunda.
Kurwisana Kunokwanisika Here?
Mamiriro ezvinhu anomuka mukuchengetedza apo inoratidzika kuti kupikisana hakugoneki. Muchengeti ane pfungwa yakawanda yekuti kutarisira kunofanira kuitika sei, asi munhu anotarisirwa ane shanduko yakasiyana . Zvinetso zvinomuka apo kukakavara kunofungidzirwa sezero-sum sum game: Kana munhu mumwe achikunda imwe inofanira kurasikirwa.
Ndakanga ndine muchengeti uyo aitarisira murume wake ainge aine matambudziko. Asati asangana nemwoyo wake, akanga ari nani, shamwari isingadikanwi. Pakaipisisa, mudzimai anorwadza ane manzwiro. Mwoyo wake usati warwisa, apo kusangana pakati pavo kwakasagadzikana, aigona nguva dzose kusiya-chimwe chinhu chakaitika kakawanda.
Zvinhu zvakachinja mushure mokunge mwoyo wake urwa. Sezvo iye zvino akanga akaremara zvakakomba, kusiya kusiya kuteverana kwekuvhiringidza kwakanga kusingabviri sezvo murume wake aida nguva dzose kutarisirwa uye pakanga pasina mari yekubhadhara vadzidzisi vezvidzidzo.
Kunyangwe paainzwa achisimbiswa mushure mekukakavadzana, aishungurudzika. Uye kubatwa kwakangoita kungowedzera kushungurudzika kwake pamusoro pokusava kutonga kwehupenyu hwake. Mukurwisana, Upenyu hwaBrian , unoda-kuva neChrisaders pamabhiza anofungidzira anotarisana nemhondi inouraya. Mutungamiri anodanidzira achiti, "Tizai, tizai." Avo vanogona kufamba nokukurumidza vanogara. Izvo zvisati zvidya zvakadyiwa nembira.
Vakawanda vanochengeta vanofunga seMonty Python's Crusaders vasingakwanisi kumhanya zvakakwana. Kurwisana kwavari, kazhinji kunowanzoita zero-sum muto apo chero zvavanoda kana zvido zvaidiwa zvinogutswa, asi kwete zvose . Kunyange kana vatarisi vezvokudya zvavanosangana, pfungwa yekuregerera inowedzera pavanotenda kuti zvaidiwa neadiwa vavo zvave zvatsauswa kune avo.
Kusarudza Pakati Pezvinetso
Tinowanzozviwana tiri mumamiriro ezvinhu apo hapana "chakanaka" mhinduro , asi panzvimbo iyo tinomanikidzwa kusarudza pakati peviri kana kupfuura inorwadza. Ndiyo mamiriro ezvinhu anowedzera nezvirwere zvisingaperi kana zvinotyisa. Hazvisi sekuti vakwegura vari kusarudza pakati peMik Mac uye kudya pane imwe yezvokudya zveMicrosoft nyenyeredzi.
Pane kudaro, zvisarudzo zvakafanana nekusarudza kuva nekofi pa 7-11 kana Quick Stop kana gourmet shop yekutengesa isiripo.
Icho chaive mamiriro ezvinhu kune muchengeti aifanira kusarudza pakati pemitemo miviri yekupa mishonga inorwadza kune waanoda. Zvose izvi zvinokonzera marwadzo. Nokudaro muchengeti aifanira kusarudza kuti ndeupi akanga asingatambudzi, kwete izvo zvaive zvakanaka. Haisi kusiyanisa semantic, asi pane kusiyana kune mafungiro. Kana iwe ukatsvaga chete "zvakanakisisa," ungangodaro usingateereri izvo zvingaita.
Zvisarudzo pamusoro pekupesana zvinowanzoitwa kushandisa izvo zvinoratidzika kunge zvakanyatsorongeka, zvakadai se, zvakatendeseka, zvakarurama, kana zvakarurama.
Izvi zvinosungirirwa kune zvinotarisirwa kuti isu nevamwe tinofanira "kunzwa sei." Somuenzaniso, ndinofanira kunzwa ndikanakidza kuratidza kuti mudzimai wangu haafariri sei, kana kuti ndinofanira kunzwa ndakasimbiswa apo hama inondiudza kuti ndakanga ndisina kodzero yekusiya sei murume.
Dzimwe nguva, kuva akarurama, kutendeseka, kana kururamisira hazviunza hugutsikane rwavanofunga kuti huchavapo kuburikidza ne "kukunda" nharo. Kune dzimwe nguva panguva yekuchengetedza kana zviri nani kuti udzoke pane kuva nekutarisana.
Mirayiridzo Yekudzivisa Kurwisana
Kakawanda hatifungi nezvekuti nei tichisarudza kuita mhirizhonga. Uye patinenge tichiita, kazhinji kacho kungoitika nguva isati yasangana, kana panguva iyo. Iyi nzira isina kukodzera isingasviki. Panzvimbo pokuvimba netsika yekuzvisarudzira pane zvauchaita kana kutaura, zvinogona kugadzirirwa mberi. Heano nhatu mirayiridzo yaungashandisa.
1. Sarudza Nezvinangwa
Kazhinji panguva ye "hondo," tinokanganwa kuisa mberi zvatinoda. Tinogona kunge tine pfungwa yakajeka yezvakakosha kana tine urongwa hwezvinangwa zvisiri zvechirongwa. Kuedza kuzvienzanisa kunze kwekutarisana kwakaoma kana zvisingaitiki sezvo "chiito" chinowanzotonga mitongo .
Chimwe chinangwa chinokonzera kuwanda kwematambudziko ndicho chikonzero chekutendeseka. Ndakapa mazano avo vane hanya nehupenyu hwavo hwekutendeseka nemunhu wadikanwa, uyo iye zvino anorwisana nemigumisiro yekutendeseka. Muzvinyorwa, pfungwa yokuti "kutendeseka ndicho chinangwa chakanakisisa" chinonzwika uye chinokonzerwa nekubatana kwevimbiso. Asi ndiyo inonyanya kukosha yemamiriro ezvinhu ose here?
Zvaunofanira kuita: Sezvaunofungisisa zvisarudzo zvaunazvo pakutanga kwekupesana, kuisa mberi kwezvinhu zvakakosha: kukunda, rugare, tsitsi, etc. Paunoshandisa izvi sekutungamira kwekuita, zvisarudzo zvako zvingava zvakajeka.
2. Ndechipi Chinangwa Chokutarisana?
Tinogona kuzvikurira pachedu. Isu tinowanzosiya hanya nemanzwiro atinogona kubhadhara ivo vose vari kurwisana nekukunda. Izvozvo ndizvo zvakaitika kumudzimai uyo murume wake aiva mukutanga kweAlzheimer's. Akasimbisa kuti murume wake aone kucheneswa kwakafanana kwaainge aita asati dambudziko rakatanga. Kuratidzira kwake kusina kukodzera, maitiro asati aongororwa aiva nemigumisiro miviri. Pakupera kwezuva racho, akanga aneta pashure pekucherechedza maitiro emurume wake kwemaawa gumi nemaviri. Chiitiko chechipiri ndechokuti murume wake akanzwa anyadziswa nekuziva kuti aisagona kushanda sekuita sezvaakaita pamberi peAlzheimer kutanga.
Pakanga pane mashomanana ekupemberera kunobatsira kumiratidziro aanoita kunyange zvazvo akazoita kuti murume wake ave "akachena." Vose vakaramba vakasuruvara kusvikira muchengeti wangu akatsigira kubva pane chinangwa chokuchena zvakakwana. Nekuve asina kukumbira zvishoma, murume wake akatanga kusununguka uye akakwanisa kubvuma zviri nani mamiriro ake ekuderera. Kumudzimai, izvi zvitsva zvakasununguka zvinomubatsira kuti asanyanya kushungurudzika uye naizvozvo anonyatsoteerera uye anonyatsochengeta.
Zvaunofanira kuita: Sezvo iwe uchisarudza kana usingave wakatarisana, sarudza mari yaunoda iwe neyewakada. "Kukunda," kunyange panyaya inokosha, hazvirevi kuti zvinodhura zvinodhura.
3. Ndeipi nzira inozobudirira zvikuru?
Iwe wakaronga mberi zvinangwa zvako uye ukaongorora mari yekutarisana. Iye zvino ndiyo nguva yekusarudza nzira inoshanda zvikuru . Murume wekwereti ane kufambira mberi kwepfungwa yekupedza ainyanya kudya mvura panguva imwechete. Chigumisiro chakawedzerwa edema, chiitiko icho chiremba wake akanyevera pamusoro. Apo mudzimai wake akakumbira chiremba kuti aparadzire sei mvura yake yekushandisa, chiremba akati aifanira "kungozviita." Haisi iyo mazano anobatsira ekusarudza nzira.
Kuti agadzirise dambudziko racho, akatora bhodhoro remvura ndokuisa chikamu chemari inogamuchirwa, zvichienderana nehuwandu hwechiremba huwandu hwekudya. Akabva ashandisa chiremba wezuva nezuva kuti aone nhamba yemabhodhoro murume wake aigona kudya zuva rimwe nerimwe. Iye zvino aive neanobudirira nzira yekugadzirisa kudya kwake pane kuvimba nekutarisana nekunwa kwake.
Zvaunofanira kuita: Kusarudza nzira inoshanda zvikuru inowanzowedzera zvakaoma kupfuura muenzaniso wakataurwa pamusoro apa. Mukutarisira, tinowanzofanira kuwana nzira yedu kuburikidza nezviito zvishoma kubudirira. Usatya kutendeuka kubva kurongwa hwako kana zvisingashande.
Mhedziso
"Kukunda," inowanzofungidzirwa sechinangwa chikuru chekukakavadzana, kana kupesana uku kunosanganisira mutambo ushamwari weping-pong kana kusarudzwa kwemuongorori. Vamwe vanhu vanototadza kuti pasina mhirizhonga, hupenyu huchava hwakaoma. Kunyange zvazvo vamwe vanhu vanogona kugadzirisa hupenyu hwavo zvichienderana nekukosha kwe "kubuda kumusoro," ndiyo nhamo inowanikwa kune vakachengetedza vakawanda.
Pakanga pane nguva mune zvematongerwe enyika dzeAmerica kana kusagadzikana uye hurumende dzaifungidzirwa kuti dzakakosha. Iye zvino, zvose zviri zviviri zvinofungidzirwa nevakawanda sekutsvaira kwemitemo. Iko kutenda kwakawanda kwakapararira zvinhu zvizhinji zvehukama husina zvematongerwo enyika, kusanganisira kutarisira.
Kuomerera kwemauto eEstutist mukuchengetedza kunowanzoita kuti utambure panzvimbo pokunyaradza pamwe. Nokudaro nguva inotevera iwe wava kuda kupinda muhondo, zvibvunze: 1) chinangwa chekuchengetedza kwangu chii? 2) Zviito zvangu zvingaita kuti ini uye munhu wandinenge ndiine hangu anonditengesa? 3) Ndeipi nzira yakanakisisa yekushandisa kuti ndiite chinangwa changu?
Kubudirira kuchengetedza kwakavakirwa zvakanyanya pane "marys of life" pane "vatsvene" zvachose kana kuti "vanhu vemazuva." Nokushandisa matanho matatu asati asarudza pakurwisana, uchaona kuti dzakawanda zvezviito zvisingagutsiki zvinokonzerwa nekukakavara zvinogona kuva mitigated.