Vanhu vashomanana chaizvo vanoona kenza yebonde chete. Chirwere chepabonde chirwere chemhuri, uye munhu mumwe nomumwe anobatwa nenzira dzakasiyana. Pane zvakawanda zvatinogona kugoverana pamusoro pehupenyu hwemhuri nekenza yemasasa , asi ngatitaurire nezvekufunganya kunowanzoregererwa: vatarisi vekenza yemhuri.
Kutarisira Munhu Waunoda
Kuchengeta munhu waunoda nekenza yemasitadhi ingangove chimwe chezvinhu zvakanakisisa zvaunogona kuita.
Iwe uchada kutarisa kumashure mumazuva ano nemanzwiro ekutsvaga kwemakore anotevera, kukanganwa nguva apo manzwiro anowira. Asi ikozvino, iwe unganzwa uchinetseka mupfungwa uye wakaneta.
Iwe unogona kunge uchinzwa chero nhamba yevanhu vachikuyeuchidza kuti uzvichengetere zvakanaka, uye mukana iwe unogona (zvichida wakanyarara) uchiti "hongu chaipo" mukutaura kwetsinye. Mashoko acho ari nyore kwazvo kutaura pane kutevera.
Ndezvipi vanhu vakawanda vasinganzwisisi-pakarepo-zvishoma-ndezvizvi izvo zvataurwa iwe zvido zvako zvinogona kudzoka nekukurumai. Haisi kungokundikana chete kuzviriritira kunokonzerwa nehutano hwakanaka uye kukwanisa kuderedza kutarisira mumwe wako waunoda asi unogona kuisa midzi yemanzwiro kunyange ane simba: shungu nekurwadziwa.
Kana iwe uri mudiwa weumwe munhu ane kenza yemasasa, tinoziva kuti iwe unotya uye unorwadzawo zvakare. Takazvinzwa kubva kune vanhu vane kenza yakakurumbira vanotenda kuti zvakaitika kune zvakaoma kune vadiwa vavo kupfuura ivo, uye izvo zvingangowanzova zvechokwadi.
Zvichida kana uri kurarama nekenza iwe pachako uri "kuita chimwe chinhu" -kunge izvo zvinoreva kugamuchira kurapwa kana kurarama nezviratidzo zvekenza. Kune vadiwa, zvakasiyana, zvinogona kuva nekunzwa kwakanyanya kwekusabatsira.
Isu tose tinoda kuita chimwe chinhu kuti tibatsire avo vatinoda. Asi kana zvasvika pakusangana kwekenza yemasasa tinoregererwa.
Hatigoni kubvisa vadiwa vedu marwadzo. Hatigoni kugamuchira kurapwa. Hatigone kunyange kuita zvisarudzo pamusoro pemishonga inosarudzwa.
Pamusoro peizvi zvose, iwe unogona kukudza iwe waunoda kuburikidza nekusimbisa chisarudzo chake chekugadzira nzira kuburikidza nekurapwa kwaisazove iwe sarudzo yako yakanaka. Kana pane chiyero chechokwadi cherudo, izvi zvingava kuedza kumwe. Iwe unogona sei kukurudzira zvakakwana munhu waunoda iwe ari kutsvaka nhungamiro yausingazozvitsvakira? Ngatitaurei pamusoro pezvabatsira vamwe kutarisira mudiwa nemukenza wepaseti yemasasa.
Mazano evanochengeta
- Zvibate zvakanaka. Tinoziva kuti wakanzwa izvi zvisati zvaitika, asi regai pfungwa iyi ipinde mukati. Iwe unofanirwa kuzvitarisira kwete kwete chete nokuti hutano hwako uye hupenyu hwakakosha, asi nokuti nzira chete iyo iwe unogona kutarisira mudiwa wako pane zvakanakisisa zvaunokwanisa iwe kana iwe ukanyatsodya nekuzorora. Kana uri kurwisana neizvi, funga zvaunoda kana matafura akadzoka. Ungada here kuti mudiwa wako ave akave noutano sezvinobvira?
- Usaenda uri woga. Ichokwadi inotora musha kunotsigira mumwe munhu anogara nekenza yemasitamende. Kana iwe uri munhu anofarira kuva akasimba uye kugadzirisa matambudziko iwe pachako, ungave uchida kudzidza kudzivisa kuenda kune zvimwe zvekutonga. Zvichida imwe shamwari haisi yakanaka yomubiki, kwete sekunaka kwevateereri, kana kuti hainzwisisi zvaidiwa neshamwari yako zvakare. Dzidza kubvumira vamwe kuti vabatsire kunyange kana rubatsiro irworwo ruri pasi pemitemo yenyu.
- Wedzera kunyorera kumamiriro asina kufara. Vaya vakataura kuseka ndiwo mushonga wakanakisisa uye pamwe wakanga uri kune mumwe munhu ane kenza yematenda emuviri. Kutamba kwemashoko kunogona kuunza runyararo runodikanwa kunyange mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma. Pane nguva chaiyo yekuseka uye nguva yekuchema.
- Chengetedza miganhu yako. Zvinonyatsozivikanwa kuti vanochengeta mhuri yevanhu vane kenza vanogona kupisa. Iwe unoda kuziva nguva kuti uchiti kwete kana kuti mumwe munhu aifanira kuita basa pane iwe. Zviri nyore kupfuudza mberi kwemiganhu iyi uye kuzvipira kuzviedza kuita zvose, asi kwete. Kazhinji kazhinji pfungwa yekuda kuda zvakanyanya sezvinobvira inosvika pakuva nehasha nekutsamwa. Kana iwe uchinzwa uri kupa kunze kweunyanzvi hwako kana kuzvipira hupenyu hwako pachako, tsvaga imwe sarudzo.
Kutaura nezvekuguma kweUpenyu
Kana iri mudikanwa wako ari kurwara nekenza yemastastatic breast, iwe une dambudziko mbiri. Paunenge uri kuedza kuva sangano rinotsigirwa kune waunoda, iwe wakasara unotarisana nemanzwiro ako ekusuruvara, kutsamwa, kushaya mhosva, uye kuora mwoyo, iwe woga.
Kushungurudzika kushungurudzika kunowanikwa kune vadikanwa zvakanyanya kana kupfuura, uye vanogona kunzwa sechinhu chine rima, chisina kunaka, musango. Iwe unganzwa uine mhosva nekuda kwekutambura kwako manzwiro ekurasikirwa apo mudiwa wako achiri kuswedera pedyo newe uye ari mupenyu zvikuru.
Pane zvakawanda zvatinokwanisa kugovana nevatinoda mukurarama nemagumo ehupenyu hwehupenyu , asi chimwe chinhu chakakosha-kunyange zvazvo kashoma kutaura pamusoro-chiri pedyo nekufa kwekuziva.
Pedyo nokuguma kwehupenyu, zvinowanzoitika kune vanhu vari kufa kuti vatange kugovera nyaya, sekuona avo vakafa kare kana kutaura pamusoro peimwe nzvimbo. Zvakangoita sokuti mudiwa wako ane tsoka rimwe munyika ino uye rimwe rutsoka mune imwe nyika.
Hatizivi kuti izvi zvinorevei, asi tinoziva chii chinonyaradza kune avo vari kufa. Kana iwe waunoda achitaura nezvekuona avo vakafa kare, musamururamise. Usamuudza kuti ari kuronga. Vanhu vazhinji vanovhiringidzika kana mhuri yavo isingaoneki kuti inovatenda. Ingoteerera pasina kururamisa uye kupa chivimbo chako kuti iwe uripo uye unomuda . Kune avo vane nguva, munogona kuwana nyaradzo pakuverenga bhuku rinonyorwa navanachiremba vanoporesa maererano nenguva idzi dzekupedzisira. Bhuku ndiro Final Gifts: Kunzwisisa Kuziva Kunokosha, Zvido, uye Kukurukurirana kweDying.
Apo mudiwa wako apfuura, zvipe nguva yekuchema. Iwe unogona kunge uchinzwa maitiro mazhinji, asi hapana nzira yakarurama yekuchema. Vamwe vanhu vanowana nyaradzo nyaradzo mukuverenga bhuku rakadai saJanis Amatuzio's Forever Ours . Iyi nyaya dzinonyorwa nehutano hwehutano, dzinotiyeuchidza kuti avo vatakarashika vangave vasipo kure sezvatinofunga.
> Sources:
> American Psychological Association. Mugumo weHupenyu Matambudziko uye Kutarisirwa. http://www.apa.org/topics/death/end-of-life.aspx
> American Society of Clinical Oncology. Cancer.net. Kurwisana neMatastatic Cancer. Updated 01/2016. https://www.cancer.net/coping-with-cancer/managing-emotions/coping-with-metastatic-cancer
> DeVita, Vincent., Et al. Kanzira: Mitemo & Practice of Oncology. Kanzira yeBretiti. Wolters Kluwer, 2016.