Kunyangwe kuongororwa kwakaipa kwakava chikonzero chekukurudzira
Nepo nhau dzehupenyu dzingave dzisingasviki paIndaneti.com, iyi inokosha zvikuru kune ruzivo rwaunowana pane ino webhusaiti. Ndiyo nyaya yangu yekusaziva uye kusanangurwa kwekuti nei ndichiita basa randinoita. Dai zvisiri zvekugamuchira kwangu kusarudzwa kwakaipa, ini handizove Mutungamiri wenyu kune Mushandi Wekugadzirira .
Mukupera kwaJune 2004, ndakawana bhofu-yakakura bundu pamusana wangu.
Izvo hazvina kukuvadza - zvakanga zviripo ipapo.
Ndakabva ndangosangana nechiremba wemhuri yangu uye, nokuti akanga asingazivi kuti chii, akanditumira kune chiremba avhiya akaibvisa masikati iwayo. "Tichakuzivisa iwe patinonzwa kubva kubasa," ndiyo yaiva yeropa rekuvhiya rakataura sezvo ndakabvarura shati yangu uye ndakagadzirira kuenda kumba.
Kwapera vhiki, hapana shoko. Ndakasangana nehofisi yechiremba uye ndakaudzwa kuti zviitiko zvakanga zvisati zvadzoka zvakare. Yechina yeJuly holiday yakakonzera kukanganisa, saka ndakamirira.
Rimwe vhiki gare gare, chiremba wacho akazonditumidza ini nemigumisiro yangu yebazi. "Iwe une kenza isingawanzozivikanwa inonzi subcutaneous panniculitis-seT-cell lymphoma," akandiudza.
Uye ipapo akadonha imwe bhomba. Ndakataurirwa kuti chikonzero chebato racho raitora kwenguva yakareba ndechokuti chigumisiro chakanga chisingawanzovikanwi - kuti chechi yechipiri yakanga yakashevedzwa kwechipiri pfungwa . "Maira maviri akazvimiririra akasimbisa izvi," ndakaudzwa.
"Tichaita sarudzo yekunyengedzera iwe iwe nokukurumidza sezvazvinogona."
"Pakarepo pazvinenge zvichibvira" wakatora mavhiki anopfuura maviri, kwete zvisiri izvo sezvandiri nechokwadi kuti iwe unoziva kana iwe wakambosarudza kusarudzwa kweioncology. Ini pakarepo ndakatanga kutsvaga Indaneti kuti ndiwane ruzivo pamusoro pekutengesa panniculitis-seT-cell lymphoma (SPTCL).
Zvaive zvakaoma kuwana chinhu zvachose nokuti, sechiremba wezvechiremba akandiudza, hazvisi nyore chaizvo.
Zvandakadzidza ndezvokuti yakanga iri chirwere chisingaperi, chirwere chinokurumidza. (Ndinonzwisisa kuti chirongwa chekurapa paMoffitt Cancer Centre chave chichigadziridzwa chinowedzera hupenyu kwemakore maviri.) Muna 2004, munhu akareba kupfuura vose ane SPTCL akaita seairarama makore mashoma, pasinei nokuti vakagamuchira kana kuti havana kugamuchira chero kurapa.
Apo ini pakupedzisira ndakaona oncologist, akanga achiodza mwoyo zvikuru. Dr S, ini ndichamushevedza, akandituma nokuda kwebasa reropa uye CT scan, zvose zvadzo dzakadzoka dzisina kunaka kune chero zvisiri izvo. Asi akaomesa basa rebasa rakaguma nekushaiwa kwehumwe uchapupu.
Izvo zvakanga zvisinganzwisisi kwandiri. Ndakanzwa zvakanaka. Ndaive ndichitamba gorofu kamwe kana kaviri pavhiki. Ndaingoziva zvidimbu zvakanga zvisipo.
Apo ini ndakamukurudzira kuti ave neruzivo rwakawanda, akarondedzera zviratidzo zvangu zvinowedzera - kupisa kunopisa uye usiku kutuka. "Asi ndiri 52," ndakakurudzira. "Pa 52 vose vakadzi vane husiku hunopisa uye kupisa kunopisa !"
Akasimbisa zviratidzo zvangu zvakanga zvisingaenderani nekuguma. Pane kudaro, akati, ivo vaiva zviratidzo zve lymphoma yangu. Pasina chemo, akandiudza, ndingadai ndakafa pakupera kwegore.
Ndakabvunza pamusoro pekuti zvingave kuti mabhiji acho ainge asina kunaka.
Kwete-kwete mukana, akadaro. Maira maviri ainge akazvimiririra akasimbisa mhinduro. Kufurirwa kutanga chemotherapy kwakatanga kukwira.
Kunze kwemhuri yangu uye shamwari shomanana dzepedyo, ini handina kugovera nhau kune ani zvake. Bhizimisi rangu rakanga ratova kutambura - kuva munhu akashanda uye kuva nehutano hwehutano inshuwarheni zvaireva kuti kuongororwa kwangu kwave kwava kunodhura, zvakare. Ndakanga ndichishandisa nguva yakawanda nguva yekutsvaga, kushungurudza, nekubhadhara kushanyira vanachiremba uye zviedzo zvaingova zvishoma nezvishoma zvakafukidzwa neshuwarisi yangu. Upenyu, chii chakanga chasiiwa, chakanga chichidzika pasi ma tubes - nekukurumidza.
Panguva iyoyo yaive munaAugust, uye ndaifanira kusarudza.
Chemo, kana kwete chemo? Ndakadzidza kuti Dr. S akanga atora kurwara, uye shamwari yake Dr. H. akanga achitora nyaya yangu. Dr. H akandibvunza kuti nei ndakamirira kutanga chemo, uye ndakamuudza kuti ndaiedza kuwana imwe oncologist kwechipiri pfungwa. Paiva nemibvunzo yakawanda kwazvo. Mhinduro yake kwandiri inoita kuti ndinetseke kusvikira nhasi, "Zvaunazvo hazvishamisi, hapana anozoziva zvakare nezvazvo kupfuura ini."
Kana chimwe chinhu chakandimanikidza kuti nditange kukumba zvakadzika, ndizvo zvaiva. Zvino ndaive "ndichirwara" uye ndakatsamwa!
Mazuva mashomanana gare gare, ndakanga ndadya kudya nevamwe shamwari dzebhizimisi, hapana mumwe wavo aiziva chero chii pamusoro pechirwere changu. Magirazi mashomanana ewaini akasunungura miromo yangu - ndakagovana nekufungidzirwa kwangu navo uye, zvechokwadi, ivo vakafambiswa. Asi imwe shamwari yaive yakawanda kudarika. Akasangana neshamwari ye oncologist uye akandiidza zuva rinotevera kunditaurira shamwari yake iye zvino aibata mumwe munhu aine SPTCL uye aizoita nguva yangu kana ndaida kuita musangano.
Izvo zvinyorwa zviduku zvemashoko akanaka zvakatsva moto pasi pangu. Ndakagadzirira nguva yekuona chiremba wake shamwari kwevhiki, ndokuzoonana neyangu yekutanga oncologist nokuda kwekopi dzezvinyorwa zvangu kuti nditore neni. Zvinyorwa zviri muruoko, ndakatanga kutsvaga Indaneti kuti ndiwane tsanangudzo dzemashoko ose andisina kunzwisisa kuti ndione kana ndaigona kudzidza zvakawanda.
Kana ndaifanira kutsvaga nguva chaiyo apo simba iri rekupa simba nekutsinhanisa basa rakatanga, iyo nguva ingadai iri iyo.
Mhinduro yebazi yakanga isina kufanirwa. Chaizvoizvo, kana mushumo hauna kusimbisa kuongororwa kwe SPTCL, chaizvoizvo. Mumwe wavo akati "kunyanya kushungurudza," uye imwe ikati, "yakanyatsoenderana." Hapana chimwe chazvo chaiva nechokwadi . Asi chimwe chiyeuchidzo chechirwere ichi chisinganzwisisiki chandakafunga kuti hachibatsiri chakawanikwa.
Uyezve, rehuta yechipiri yebazi yakataura kuti bhupopu yekumusoro yakanga iri kutumirwa kwechimwe chiedzo chinonzi "clonality" - asi hapana mhinduro yeiyo muedzo yakanga yaiswa mune zvinyorwa faxed kwandiri.
Ndakashamisika kuti chii chakanga chiri, uye nei zviitiko izvozvo zvisina kuiswa mumabhuku angu.
Ndakasangana nehofisi yangu yekare ye-oncologist uye zvinoshamisa, vakanga vasina ruzivo rwekutsvaga kweclonality. Saka, pavakatsvaga kuti vazviwane, ndakatarisa zvakanyatsojekeswa.
Clonality, iyo inosvika, inotarisa kana masero ose asina kujairika ari kuuya kubva kune imwe clone .
Zvinyorwa zvishoma, kana zvakakosha, muedzo wacho unonyatsoratidza kufanirwa kwekenza, yakadai se-lymphoma.
Apo ini pakupedzisira ndakawana kopi yemashoko ekupedzisira ebazi, ndakadzidza kuti yakanga isina kunaka.
Sezvo ndakamirira kuti ndione chiremba wangu mutsva, ndakatanga kutsvaga migumisiro. Ndakatarisa kumusoro-siyana mavara (rangarirai gentian violet kubva kuchikoro chesekondari?), Tsamba dzechiGiriki uye mazwi ekurapa. Mukurumbira nemigumisiro yeclonality, zvakava pachena kwandiri kuti ndakanga ndisina kenza, hazvina mhosva kuti marabhu neavocologist vaifungei.
Nenguva yandakaenda kundoshanyira, ndakapiwa simba uye ndikadzingwa. Ndainyatsoziva nezvezvibereko zvangu, uye ndakagovana naye zvose zvandakadzidza. Akandiongorora, akatora mabhuku maduku kubva pamashavha ake, uye akandibatsira kudzidza zvakawanda. Kubva pakudzidza kuti paiva nevashoma vanopfuura 100 vane mhosva dze SPTCL mumakore gumi apfuura kuti vataurirwe kuti kunyange dai ndaive ne SPTCL, zvingave zviri nani kurapwa nemirairo kupfuura chemo, ndainzwa zviri nani neminiti.
Zvadaro chiremba wangu mutsva akakurudzira kuti bhiopsy yangu iendeswe kune imwe nyanzvi paNational Institutes of Health, chikamu chehurumende yeUnited States, kuti iongororwe. Vhiki nhatu gare gare, pakupera kwaSeptember, ndakapiwa kusimbiswa kuti, chokwadi, ndakanga ndisina kenza .
Iyo yakagadziriswa kuongororwa yaiva ye panniculitis, kuputika kwemafuta masero. Haana kukonzera dambudziko rimwechete kubvira ipapo.
Ruregerero? Zvechokwadi. Asi maitiro angu okutanga akanga akafanana nehasha.
Mushure mezvose, dai ndakanga ndawana chemo uye ndakapona, vangadai vandiudza kuti ndakanga ndapora chirwere chandakanga ndisati ndambove nacho. Uye zvingotyisa, ndakawana mitsara paIndaneti yevanhu vakange vaongororwa vane SPTCL uye vakabatwa ne chemo vakange vafa panguva yekurapa; vashandi vakave vakaratidza kuti havana kumbobvira vatora SPTCL kutanga. Mhosva dzainge dzakundwa.
Chiitiko chakachinja upenyu hwangu nenzira dzakawanda . Chimwe chinhu, ndagara ndichifunga kuti zvose zvinoitika nokuda kwechikonzero.
Saka izvi zvakashata zvakandimanikidzira kuti ndibvunze - chii pasi pano chingave chikonzero chechiitiko ichocho?
Izvozvo zvakanditungamirira kune chinhu chakakosha zvikuru chandakaita muupenyu hwangu. Muna 2006, ndakashandura mabasa ekutanga kubatsira vamwe kubatsira ivo pachavo kufamba nenzira yehutano yekuAmerica . Ndinonyora magwaro ekutsanangurira varwere pano pa About.com. Ndanyora mabhuku mana. Ndinotaura munyika yose uye muCanada pamusoro pemagadzirirwo emagariro ehurwere. Uye ini ndakatanga uye ndakatanga sangano kune vamiririri vanozvimiririra, vari voga varwere - vanhu vari kunze uko vanobatsira vamwe vanhu - kufanana newe - zuva rega roga kuti uende nenzira yehutano yehupenyu kuti uwane zvavanenge vachiita zvinodiwa. (Tsvaga zvimwe pamusoro pezvinhu izvi zvose muhupenyu hwangu.)
Zvinotarisa kuti chinhu chakaipisisa chakamboitika kwandiri (kusaziva maitiro), kwenguva refu, chinhu chakanakisisa chakamboitika kwandiri, zvakare.
Zivo chinhu chine simba, uye kunyanya kana chigoverwa.
........ Kuvandudza: 2011 .........
MuAugust 2010, ndakaverenga bhuku, The Immortal Life yaHenrietta Lacks , naRebecca Skloot, izvo zvakaita kuti nditange kushamisika kuti chii chakaitika ku "bundu" rangu - chiremera chakabviswa kwandiri muna 2004 chakanga chisina kuongororwa.
Uye zvandakadzidza! Kubvira pakachengetedza kusvika pakugadzira purofiti, pane zvakawanda zviri kuitika pamwe nezvidimbu zvemiviri yedu yakabviswa kwatiri. Dzidza zvakanyanya pano pamusoro pezvinoitika kuropa, masero uye mamwe maitiro emuviri akabviswa zvachose, zvino verenga nyaya pamusoro pezvandakadzidza pamusoro pemakumbo angu uye uko nhasi.
........ Kuvandudza: 2013 .........
Makore mapfumbamwe mushure meganda rangu repakutanga uye rakakonzerwa nekusaziva, chigamba chitsva chakaonekwa ...
Ndakanyora rwendo rwacho nokuti ndakaona pakutanga kuti kuva nemasimba uye simba rakashinga rakashandura ruzivo rwose.
Ndibatei neni murufambi! Zvipfumbamwe Makore Pashure - Chimwe Chechipiri Chechipiri Chinoratidza kuti Ikugonesa Kuchinja Zvinhu zvose