Kupukunyuka mhosva kune chimwe chinhu chekuti vazhinji vedu tinofanira kurarama sevanopukunyuka kenza . Panguva imwecheteyo tinosangana nematambudziko ekusava nechirwere chekenza-kana kuti kunge tiri vapenyu nekenza-nguva dzose munhu watinoziva uye rudo ane kupedzisira kana kukonzera chirwere chacho. Panzvimbo pekuti "sei ini" mibvunzo yatinogona kuzvibvunza patinenge tiwana, mubvunzo unowanzoti: "Sei ini kwete ?" Chii chatinoziva pamusoro pemanzwiro aya uye ndeipi dzimwe nzira dzekutarisana nazvo?
Chii chinonzi Survivor Guilt?
Pano tiri kutaura pamusoro pevanorwara nekenza, asi pane mienzaniso yakawanda yeparipo wepachivi. Vakuru vemauto vemauto vakawana mhosva iyi sezvavakatarisa shamwari dzavo dzakakuvadzwa kana kuurawa asi dzakapona pachavo. Musi waSeptember 11, 2001, yakasiya vanhu vazhinji vakapukunyuka mhosva. Yakanga iine ruzivo rweavo vaishanda mumasvingo maviri uye nokuda kwechimwe chikonzero chaiva nezuva rakabuda, kana ((nerufaro) rakapera kushanda. Yakanzwa neavo vaishanda asi vakabuda munguva. Avo vakapona apo vashandi pamwe navo neshamwari vakafa vakasara nemanzwiro aya. Sei ndisingaiti?
Vanopona kenza vanogona kunzwa nemhosva iyi. Nedzimwe nzira, kuva nekenza kwakafanana nokuva munharaunda yehondo (uye nokuda kwechikonzero ichocho, vamwe vevccologist vanopikisa kuti vazhinji vanopona kenza vane imwe yero ye-post-traumatic stress syndrome). Muvengi haasi rimwe boka revarume, kana imwe nyika, asi pane hondo huru yekenza masero mukati memuviri wako.
Hatiwanzoziva kuti nei munhu mumwe chete achirarama nekenza asi mumwe haaiti. Kana kuti nei mumwe munhu angave nekenza inochengeterwa kutariswa nekurapwa apo kechimwe chevanhu chinowedzera. Somuponesi munharaunda iyi, unganzwa urombo kune avo vasingararami. Iwe unganzwa uchisuruvara, kana kuti unonzwa uine mhosva kuti iwe wapona.
Kuparara kunokonzera kenza-mhaka mhosva kunowanikwa kumadhigiri akasiyana nevanhu vakasiyana. Zvakakosha kuziva kuti kunzwa uku kwakajairika, uye zvechokwadi, chiratidzo chine utano kuti uri munhu ane tsitsi. Dzimwe nguva, zvisinei, zvinogona kuunza pfungwa dzako zvakakwana kuti zvipindire nemabasa ako ezuva nezuva. Kana ikasvika kusvika ipapo, pfungwa yakanaka yekutsvaga rubatsiro rwezvenyanzvi.
Mienzaniso
Kupona mhosva kune pfungwa yekuzviisa pasi, uye dzimwe nguva zvinogona kubatsira kubatsira vamwe mienzaniso yeupenyu.
Mumwe akapukunyuka, Elizabeth (uyo akamupa mvumo yekugovera nyaya yake), akaparara kwemakore mana. Nekuongororwa kwekenza yemugwagwa yakakwirira, haana kutarisira kuva pano. Pazuva rimwe chete raaive achiyeuchidza makore ake emakore mana ekuyeuka kwekenza pasina, akaenda kumariro omumwe shamwari kubva kuboka rake rekutsigira rakapera nekenza. Akandiudza kuti akanzwa achibvarurwa mukati. Chikamu chake chaida "kudanidzira kubva kumakomo" kuti akanga apona, uye chikamu chake chakanga chiri kushungurudzika kukuru pakurasikirwa neshamwari yake. Izvi "mukati-kati" nzvimbo-iyo manzwiro anorwadza ekunzwa kufara iwe pachako asi kusuruvara kune mumwe-ndizvo zvatinoreva neshoko rinopona mhosva.
Mumwe shamwari akaudza kuti akawana mwoyo wake wakabvaruka uye akachema kwemaawa akawanda mushure mechikamu chese chemotherapy.
Paakanga ari kugamuchira kurapwa uyo, achitarisira, aizomuponesa kwenguva refu kubva kune kenza yake, vhiki imwe neimwe aigara pakati pevanhu vaviri vakanga vasina ruzivo. Vose vari vaviri vaive vachiita chemotherapy semuedzo wokuwedzera upenyu hwavo mwedzi mishomanana. Mumisodzi, aizondishevedza ndichiti, "sei?" Nemamwe mazwi, sei akafanirwa nemukana wekupona, apo shamwari dzake itsva dzisina kuonekwa dzisina mukana iwoyo?
Kutsungirira
Kunyange zvazvo pasina chinhu chinogona kubvisa kusuruvara kwako (uye zvinokosha kushungurudza kurasikirwa kweshamwari dzedu nevanodikanwa) pane zvinhu zvaunogona kuita kuti udzivise humwe hurombo hwemunhu anenge apomerwa mhosva.
Heano mamwe mazano akabatsira vamwe kukunda:
Gamuchirai mhosva yenyu. Nhanho yekutanga pakubata nemanzwiro evanopona mhosva ndeyokubvuma kuti manzwiro ako aripo uye ndeechokwadi. Hapana chakakanganisika nekunzwa nenzira yaunoita-muchokwadi, chiratidzo chokuti unonzwira tsitsi uye unonyatsofarira vanhu.
Shingaira uye utaure manzwiro ako. Dzimwe nguva, kungoita kuedza kuratidza manzwiro edu akavhenganiswa kunogona kuunza runyaradzo rukuru. Ndiani waunoziva kuti iwe unofunga kuti unonyatsonzwisisa manzwiro ako kuitira kuti vagone kupa rubatsiro rwaunoda? Unoziva here ani zvake "akavepo," uye zvichida ave nemanzwiro akadaro? Kune vamwe vanhu, kubudisa manzwiro avo kunoshamisa kuwedzera kugoverana manzwiro avo pachena nevashamwari.
Zvibvumira kuzvishungurudza uye uyeuke avo vashoma varombo. Kana uri kunzwa kuti kushungurudzika zvakadzama kuti tiri kudana vanopona mhosva tinozvibvunza iwe, "Ndakatora nguva yekuchema here?" Patinorarama nekenza zuva nezuva, zvinhu zvakawanda zvinopera pamusana wemoto, uye imwe izvo zvinhu zvinogona kunge zvichishungurudza patinofanira kushungurudzika .
Yeuka shamwari yako kuburikidza nechiito chengoni. Kana iwe uri kuchema unozivana kana munhu waunoda akapera nekenza, achiyeuka kuburikidza nechiito chekuitira mumwe munhu angaita kuti chiyeuchidzo chiduku chiduku chiduku.
Gamuchira kuti hapana mhinduro. Tinoda kuva nezvikonzero nei mumwe munhu ane kenza iyo inodzoka apo mumwe munhu anoramba ari mukuregererwa. Asi kazhinji, hapana mhinduro dzakananga. Kunyangwe zviri nyore kutaura pane kuzviita, kubvuma kuti hatigoni kuwana mhinduro dzatinenge tichitsvaga zvingatibatsira kubvuma kuti dzimwe nguva hupenyu, nekenza, hazvisi izvo zvine musoro.
Tora nguva yekufunga nezvemhosva yako. Iwe unonzwa uine mhosva nokuti hausi kurarama hupenyu nenzira yaunofunga kuti iwe unofanirwa here? Zvechokwadi, manzwiro akadai angava anokurudzira kuita mararamiro emararamiro aunofunga kuti akakosha-asi haana kumboita. Pane flip, haufaniri kuratidza kuti iwe wakafanirwa, kana kuti "unofanirwa kupona." Haufaniri kuwana nekutsvaga chikuru chisina purogiramu kusimudza ruzivo kuti uratidze kuponesa kwako. Iwe hauna chikwereti chero munhu upi zvake nokuda kwechiitiko chako chechipiri muupenyu.
Gamuchira ukama hwako hwemweya. Nokutaura kugamuchira hukama hwako hwemweya hatireve kuenda kuchechi iri pedyo. Vamwe vanhu vanowana chitendero chakarongeka chinosangana nezvido izvi, asi kune vamwe, kunamata kunotora imwe fomu. Kunyangwe iri kutaura nemasikirwo, kuita yoga, kupenda, kana kuenda kumusangano kune chechi kana musinagogi, kugamuchira ukama hwako hwemweya kunogona kukubatsira iwe kwete kungogadzirisa kusuruvara uye kushaya mhosva asi kupemberera kushamisika kwekupona kwako pachako.
Dzidzira kusununguka mupfungwa. Isu tose tinoziva kuti kunzwa "kwakamanikidzwa" kunoratidzika kunge kunobata kutsungirira chero chinhu muupenyu hwedu zvakaoma. Chii chaungaita kuti uderedze zvimwe zvinonetsa kuti iwe uzvipe nguva yakawanda yekurarama nehupenyu hwekenza?
Funga kubatana neboka rekutsigira. Dzimwe nguva kutaura kune vamwe vanhu avo "vakavepo" inokosha. Mukuwedzera pakunzwa kuzvitsigira, kuva nzeve kune mumwe munhu ari kurwisana nerwendo rwavo rwekenza anogona kukupa pfungwa yechinangwa iwe uri kunzwa kuora mwoyo kwekupona mhosva. Kanzira dzakawanda nzvimbo uye mharaunda dzine mapoka ekutsigira vanhu vanorarama nekenza. Mharaunda yeIndaneti uye makamuri ekukurukura anowanikwawo zvakare.
Kumbira kubatsirwa uye kutsigirwa. Kurarama nemunhu anenge apona mhosva hakusi chinhu chaunoita kamwe chete uye uchibva mberi. Sekupona, iwe ucharamba uchimhanya kune vanhu vasina kupukunyuka kenza yavo kana avo vane kenza yakafambira mberi. Funga kuti ndiani ari mubatsiro rako rekushandisa anogona kukubatsira kuti utarise apo manzwiro aya anomuka nekukumbira rubatsiro uye kutsigirwa kana zvichidiwa.
Pemberera kuponesa kwako. Iko kunogona kubatsira kufunga pamusoro peiyo shamwari yako isina ruzivo ingada kukuda iwe panguva ino. Ichokwadi kuti angada kuti iwe ufare kuponesa kwako kubva pamukenza. Sezvaunorangarira iye, fungidzira achikurumbidza iwe paunenge uchienda kuhupenyu uchingopona, kana kupona, iwe pachako rwendo nekenza.
Future Research
Zvinosuruvarisa, pasinei nekunyorwa kwezvinyorwa zvese, takatamburira mumablogi ega uye mumakamuri ekutaura umo vanopukunyirwa nekenza vanogovera matambudziko avo, hapana hutsvakurudzo hwakawanda hwakaparidzirwa pamusoro pemupomeri ane mhaka yokuti vanenge vanopukunyuka kese vanoziva kune vamwe degree. Tariro, ine nhamba yakawanda yevakapona mushava zvino vari kurarama munyika yose, nzvimbo ino ichakurukurwa mune ramangwana.
Sources:
Andrykowski, M. et al. Utano hwepfungwa nevanopukunyuka kenza. Seminar in Oncology Nursing . 2008. 24 (3): 193-201.
Nzvimbo dzeDarease Control. Sangano reNational Action Plan reCarcer Survivorship: Kufambira mberi kwehutano hwehutano hwevanhu.
Harvard Health Publications. Harvard Medical School. Harvard Health Blog. Ann MacDonald, mupepeti. Zvinetso zvepfungwa uye zvepfungwa zvekupararira kenza.